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I have a dishwasher

In Being Ma'am on October 7, 2011 at 10:24 am

It’s a machine: That’s important to clarify as most Indian dishwashers are people.

If you are not an expat in India you may be thinking, so what? If you are an expat in India you may be jealous or you may just think I’m mad. It arrived three weeks ago after much fuss:

Fuss #1 – persuading Dean we needed a dishwasher:
Dean didn’t think that we needed a dishwasher because we could pay a person to do it for us. This brought to light a few serious issues: 1) Why did I bother to ask him anyway, 2) what do I care what he thinks and 3) why doesn’t he listen to a word I say? So after I explained, calmly and rationally, that this would help me reclaim my home and would therefore benefit both of us (and then threatened to leave) he came round.

Fuss #2 – splitting the water supply and fixing two taps:
I had the misfortune of having the worst plumber in the whole world in my house who wanted to charge me for making everything he touched worse. Then I found an OK plumber to do the job and I was ready to roll.

Fuss #3 – persuading the man in the shop to let me buy the dishwasher:
No, I’m not kidding! This is not unusual in India; people will let you walk out of their shop without making a sale, even though it’s there for the taking; it’s a perplexing issue. They only wanted to sell me the display model; the concept of keeping it on display in order to sell more dishwashers was lost on them. After persuading the man (and the 10 additional men who were ‘helping’) that I didn’t want to buy the display model, that I wanted a new one from the factory and that I was happy to wait 2 days for it, I paid my money.

Fuss #4 – delivery and installation:
Of course  it didn’t get here on time but it was only one day late and who really expects goods in India to be delivered to schedule? The men from the shop came to deliver it and then they called the man from the factory who came to install it. I’m no expert but I think there may be some efficiency gains to be made here. The water pipe was too short so I had to buy an over-priced extension. The electricity cable was too short so I had to find an extension from one of the cable and adapter thickets that lie in hidden corners of my home.

Fuss #5 – getting dishwasher salt etc.
It turns out that there are no freebies with Indian dishwashers; the factory man wanted to sell me a starter back for an exorbitant amount so I told him no thanks. In the end this actually this wasn’t really much fuss; I didn’t know where to get it, I asked the expat community, they told me, I bought it. Aren’t they great?!

Yippee … turn the dishwasher on …

Fuss #6 – the new tap leaks:
*$@<>$%^&*(“!!! The OK plumber came back: He didn’t do a brilliant job but it was late in the evening and I was too tired to argue.

Yippee … turn the dishwasher on …

Fuss #7 – the dishwasher blows the electric circuit:
*#!@?;{~&^!!!!!!!! . I had visions of having to take the bloody thing back! But it turns out we are running 3 amp fuses on all our home circuits. So with the help of Shyam, the trusty electrician, we have a new fuse and the dishwasher even has its very own socket.

Yippee … turn the dishwasher on …. ahh … no more washing up for me.

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